Spanked and Diapered '86: A Domestic Diaper Discipline Story (The Diaper Library)

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Tell the teen that you're only trying to help them and that it's not okay for them to hurt you in the process. You might say, “I understand that you're frustrated, but hitting me is wrong, and you need to stop.” Empathize. Recognize that your teen may be embarrassed by the diapering process. You can lessen some of these social issues by changing your teen only in private spaces, such as bathrooms. Don’t talk openly about your teen’s diapering needs, and be tactful about telling your teen that it is time for a change. Channel the teen’s aggression into the diapering process by asking them to assist with preparing the supplies or the room. You could say, “Look how strong you are. Could you use some of your strength to help me do this? It will go much faster.”

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Look for signs of wet or soiled diapers. Watch for indications that they need a diaper change. In the case of soiling accidents, it is usually easy to smell, and you may have noticed they were standing in an easily discoverable "soiling" position and even heard them farting loud. You can buy diaper cream in the form of an aerosol can. Your teen may prefer this option since you would not need to use your hands to apply the cream. When you are done with cleaning, place the soiled wipes within the soiled diaper and fold them up for disposal.

Counter physical resistance. A teenager might resist the entire diapering process. If so, be prepared for this challenge by reminding yourself to stay calm and in control. Resist the desire to physically restrain them, or to spank, as it will only cause more problems in the future. Change in a sitting position. This is a changing option in areas where seating is provided (e.g., family restroom benches) or in situations where the teen can lift themselves from a seated position (in a wheelchair, for example) but are not fully capable of standing independently. Start by having the teen sit on a pre-placed underpad. If they are already seated, have them lift up briefly and scoot it under them. Have them raise up again to remove all lower clothing. Go to a changing area. If you are in a home setting, head into the restroom area or a room with extra space. If you are “out and about,” it gets a bit more challenging. Go to a public restroom and head into an extra-large stall, an accessible stall, or a separate family restroom, if one is available. The space must be big enough for the both of you and clean. Sometimes you may find a restroom with an extra-large changing table. Apply skin cream. After you have finished cleaning, rub a zinc-based skin cream around the skin covered by the diaper. This will prevent chafing and rashes, especially in those teens who always wear diapers. This is an especially intimate step, so able teens may want to do this themselves. [4] X Research source Stay calm. To relax you both, you might say, “Stay calm. It will all be okay.” Or, “Trust me, we’ve done this many times before.” If a teen refuses to leave for a diaper change, it may also help to set a time limit on resistance, such as, “Okay, I see that you are busy, so we can wait for a bit, but come see me in five minutes.” [5] X Research source

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Offer an incentive for cooperative behavior in the future. For example, say, “If we have a week with no arguments over diaper changes, we'll go out to your favorite restaurant.” This article was co-authored by Laura Marusinec, MD. Dr. Marusinec is a board certified Pediatrician at the Children's Hospital of Wisconsin, where she is on the Clinical Practice Council. She received her M.D. from the Medical College of Wisconsin School of Medicine in 1995 and completed her residency at the Medical College of Wisconsin in Pediatrics in 1998. She is a member of the American Medical Writers Association and the Society for Pediatric Urgent Care. Consider developing a code phrase, such as: “Do you need a break?” or "It doesn't smell like roses here - do you need to get some fresh air?" How often this occurs will depend on several factors (the person's health, etc.). However, plan on changing (or assisting if needed) a teen diaper about five to eight times each day. In the standing position, you'll need to use one hand to hold the diaper in place and another to secure the tabs.Teens can have the occasional wetting or soiling accidents during a diaper change too. You may still need to use a waterproof changing pad underneath your teen along with bringing along a towel (for use during changing time as a makeshift diaper) - so that if the accident happens, it can be handled without blaming the teen. Change in a lying down position. This option can make teens feel very vulnerable and potentially embarrassed because they are diapered like a baby in that position. However, for those teens with severely limited mobility or soiling accidents, this is the best option - and also, some teens prefer to be changed laying down because they are used from early childhood to have their diaper changed in this position. Starting by helping the teen to the floor, to the changing table (if available), or to the bed (if changing in a room), where they will lay upon the underpad. Remove their lower clothes completely - including plastic pants if they wear those for extra protection. Release the diaper tapes, pulling it loose, but not off. In the sitting position, you will need to have the teen raise up to place the fresh diaper between their legs and secure it. For a laying-down change, place an underpad on the ground or bed. If a changing table is available, clean the plastic cover with a disinfecting wipe.

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Prepare for the changing position. How you do this depends on how mobile your teen is. Standing would be the easiest, but if your teen cannot stand up or has soiled the diaper heavily, you will need to set up the room for a laying-down change. Be sure the teen's bottom is clean. Regardless of position, use as many wipes as you need to to make them completely clean. If possible, have them help with their own cleaning needs. If the teen needs support standing, they can grab a handrail (if available), use a walker, touch the wall or grip your shoulders for balance. A disposable underpad is just one of many options to provide a barrier between the teen and the changing surface. You can also use a folded shower curtain, a waterproof picnic blanket, or a homemade padded changing mattress covered in soft vinyl.